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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected: a   half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head   of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.   As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. 

 

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly   stated, "You must be single." 

 

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was   intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She   looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual   about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. 

 

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,   you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?" 

 

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

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23 hours ago, 5fouls said:

May be an image of 2 people and text that says 'Her: bet he's thinking about other women.. Him: If you replace the 'W' with 'T' in When, Where, and What, you get the answer for each question'

My wife literally woke up yesterday and was mad at me because she had a dream that I kissed one of her friends.....I mean really!!??? I'm having dreams about taking my dog hunting and trying to remember my locker combo from HS....I WISH I had such dreams. geez! I told her that our daughter isn't allowed to watch scary movies before she goes to bed and you aren't allowed to watch "Seeking sister wives" before you go to bed!

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