Barrel Rick

Hey y’all.. Ricky checkin’ in.. As I assume all of you have noticed, being that my aura is unmatched; I have taken an extensive leave of absence. For those of you who don’t know, I am the team masseuse for IUMBB.. I have rubbed the thighs of legends. Some of you may be under the impression that my work has been too busy, but truthfully.. This team just sucks armadillo nuts. Woody and I have stopped going for brunch, and it’s made our work relationship very strange.. he hasn’t requested a shiatsu in many moons. For those of you who don’t know my lore; CJ Gunn is also my grandson. From what I’ve heard, he’s received immense interest from The University of Northern Delaware A&M - Taxidermy & Circus, and from what I heard from his father, the interest is mutual. You know Ricky hates to be the bearer of bad news, but from what I’ve heard around the facility; Liam McNeely is considering taking his talents elsewhere. “Bring back Archie,” says the Barrel.. - Barrel Rick, 2024 sponsored by Hormel Chili, Braylon Mullins, Fazoli’s of Columbus, and Sony Records

hey y’all, Ricky checkin’ in.. i know you all have been waiting on me to break my silence on this situation, so i figured i’d take a few minutes to do so.. as some of you may know, i was in the car with Mackenzie that evening.. he asked me after practice if i was interested in a cheesy gordita crunch, and to no one’s surprise due to my 430 pound frame; i was interested.. as you can probably tell from recent headlines, i did not receive said gordita.. i was taken into custody shortly after Mack for performing The Walls of Jericho on the responding officer, but i stood up for our 5 star, and this program.. i write to you all from the Monroe County Jail.. i was denied bond, but i stashed a Galaxy S10 in my @$$. will keep everyone updated.. - Barrel Rick, 2023 sponsored by Hormel Chili & Christopher Gunn Jr. #FreeRicky

hey y’all, Ricky checkin’ in.. for those of you who don’t know me; do your damn research.. i am the most trustworthy insider in the history of IUMBB. for years, i have predicted some of our most glorious commitments.. Romeo Langford? Ricky called it.. Trayce Jackson-Davis? yep; Rick knew.. now, a smaller number of you may know that i happen to be the team masseuse for this program. i rub the agony of the day’s practice out of each and every one of these young men, and in return they supply me with information.. today, i’m here to speak on Boogie Fland.. as most of you know, Boogie is down to three schools, or so the media believes.. Indiana, Kentucky, and Alabama. Kentucky, one of the sh*ttiest programs in all of Division 1 hoops, is said to have the closest shot alongside the Hoosiers. from what Woody told me this morning at brunch, Boogie’s not interested in making love to any relatives, so Nate Oats and the Tide couldn’t offer him much. on Friday, Boogie Fland will commit to Indiana University, and i will ingest an entire pecan pie in celebratory fashion before my wife gives me some absolute treatment. Hammer Hoosiers. - Barrel Rick, 2023 sponsored by Hormel Chili, Trojan Condoms, St. Marco’s First Baptist Church, and Best Buy of Columbus, Indiana.

a storm is comin.. - Barrel Rick, 2023